15 Etiquette Tips for Flying
Traveling can be stressful enough on it’s own. Airports can be annoying and crowded. Here’s a humorous guide to help you (and everyone else around you) love you more when you are headed to paradise.
- Don’t cow heard the boarding gate area. If you are Group 7, sit down and don’t act like you’re Group 1. This is especially bad when handicapped need space and those grazers are blocking the walkways.
- While boarding, do not go the opposite direction down the aisle.
- Do not hoard the overhead bin. If you have 2 bags, put the smaller one at your feet. If you have a roller bag, wheels in first. WHEELS IN.
- If you want a window seat, be prepared to not have to pee for any flights under 2 hours. Maybe 3.
- 12” voices. Yes, like in elementary school. Don’t let you voice leave your seat bubble.
- If you take a middle seat, don’t lean into your neighbor. Definitely don’t fall asleep on their shoulder. They won’t like you too much. But by rule, you can claim both arm rests!
- Reclining your chair is a luxury. It’s for sleeping and relaxing. Don’t recline your chair and then jump around like a 2 year old so it continuously hits the person behind you.
- Do not crop dust. If you have gas, go to the restroom PLEASE.
- Be thoughtful in what food you bring on the plane. Turkey sandwich = 1 / Tuna sandwich = 0.
- TURN YOUR PHONE VOLUME/RINGER/GAME NOTIFICATIONS OFF. Or use earphones. No one wants to hear this. Ever.
- Use the restroom in your cabin only. Your bum may prefer the TP in first class, but stick to your booked cabin.
- When deboarding the plane, it goes in order: Connecting flights running late exit first, then first class, business, coach by aisle number.
- On overnight flights, do not leave your overhead light on.
- If you have never taken Ambien on a flight before, I wouldn’t recommend doing it on one for the first time.
- Last but not least…Don’t crowd the baggage claim. There is usually a line on the ground. That’s not a recommendation. Standing 1’ away from the belt isn’t going to get your bags out faster. If you do block like this, and someone hits you with their bag when removing it, that’s acceptable.